Institutio Oratoria |
Translator: Harold Edgeworth Butler
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| 1863 |
At quaedam propria sunt respondentium ; illa etiam atque etiam cogitata adferri solent , haec plerumque in altercatione aut in rogandis testibus reperiuntur . Cum sint autem loci plures , ex quibus dicta ridicula ducantur , repetendum est mihi non omnes eos oratoribus convenire ; in primis ex amphibolia neque illa obscena ,
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But there are certain points which are peculiar to reply. For remarks designed for attack are usually brought ready-made into court, after long thought at home, whereas those made in reply are usually improvised during a dispute or the cross-examination of witnesses. But though there are many topics on which we may draw for our jests, I must repeat that not all these topics are becoming to orators: |
| 1864 |
quae Atellani e more captant , nec qualia vulgo iactantur a vilissimo quoque , conversa in maledictum fere ambiguitate ; ne illa quidem , quae Ciceroni aliquando sed non in agendo exciderunt , ut dixit , cum is candidatus , qui coqui filius habebatur , coram eo suffragium ab alio peteret : Ego quoque tibi favebo .
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above all doubles entendres and obscenity, such as is dear to the Atellan farce, are to be avoided, as also are those coarse jibes so common on the lips of the rabble, where the ambiguity of words is turned to the service of abuse. I cannot even approve of a similar from of jest, that sometimes slipped out even from Cicero, though not when he was pleading in the courts: for example, once when a candidate, alleged to be the son of a cook, solicited someone else's vote in his presence, he said, Ego quoque tibi favebo. |
| 1865 |
Non quia excludenda sint omnino verba duos sensus significantia , sed quia raro belle respondeant , nisi cum prorsus rebus ipsis adiuvantur . Quare paene et ipsum scurrile Ciceronis est in eundem , de quo supra dixi , Isauricum: Miror , quid sit , quod pater tuus , homo constantissimus , te nobis varium reliquit .
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I say this not because I object absolutely to all play on words capable of two different meanings, but because such jests are rarely effective, unless they are helped out by actual facts as well as similarity of sound. For example, I regard the jest which Cicero levelled against that same Isauricus, whom I mentioned above, as being little less than sheer buffoonery. "I wonder," he said, " why your father, the steadiest of men, left behind him such a stripy gentleman as yourself. " |
| 1866 |
Sed illud ex eodem genere praeclarum ; cum obiiceret Miloni accusator in argumentum factarum Clodio insidiarum , quod Bovillas ante horam nonam devertisset , ut exspectaret , dum Clodius a villa sua exiret , et identidem interrogaret , quo tempore Clodius occisus esset , respondit , Sero ; quod vel solum sufficit , ut hoc genus non totum repudietur .
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On the other hand, the following instance of the same type of wit is quite admirable: when Milo's accuser, by way of proving that he had lain in wait for Clodius, alleged that he had put up at Bovillae before the ninth hour in order to wait until Clodius left his villa, and kept repeating the question, "When was Clodius killed?" , Cicero replied, "Late!" a retort which in itself justifies us in refusing to exclude this type of wit altogether. Sometimes, |
| 1867 |
Nec plura modo significari solent , sed etiam diversa , ut Nero de servo pessimo dixit nulli plus apud se fidei haberi , nihil ei neque occlusum neque signatum esse .
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too, the same word may be used not merely in several senses, but in absolutely opposite senses. For example, Nero said of a dishonest slave, "No one was more trusted in my house: there was nothing closed or sealed to him." |
| 1868 |
Pervenit res usque ad aenigma , quale est Ciceronis in Plaetorium Fonteii accusatorem , cuius matrem , dixit , dum vixisset , ludum , postquam mortua esset , magistros habuisse .Dicebantur autem , dum vixit , infames feminae convenire ad eam solitae ; post mortem bona eius venierant . Quanquam hic ludus per translationem dictus est , magistri per ambiguitatem .
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Such ambiguity may even go so far as to present all the appearance of a riddle, witness the jest that Cicero made at the expense of Pletorius, the accuser of Fonteius: "His mother," he said, "kept a school while she lived and masters after she was dead." The explanation is that in her lifetime women of infamous character used to frequent her house, while after her death her property was sold. (I may note however that ludus, is used metaphorically in the sense of school, while magisiri is used ambiguously.) |
| 1869 |
In metalempsin quoque cadit eadem ratio dictorum , ut Fabius Maximus , incusans Augusti congiariorum , quae amicis dabantur , exiguitatem , heminaria esse dixit ; nam congiarium commune liberalitatis atque mensurae , a mensura ducta imminutio rerum .
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A similar form of jest may be made by use of the figure known as metalepsis, as when Fabius Maximus complained of the meagreness of the gifts made by Augustus to his friends, and said that his congiaria were heminaria: for congiarium implies at once liberality and a particular measure, and Fabius put a slight on the liberality of Augustus by a reference to the measure. |
| 1870 |
Haec tam frigida quam est nominum fictio adiectis , detractis , mutatis litteris , ut Acisculum , quia esset pactus , Pacisculum , et Placidum nomine , quod is acerbus natura esset , Acidum , et Tullium , cum fur esset , Tollium dictos invenio .
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This form of jest is as poor as is the invention of punning names by the addition, subtraction or change of letters: I find, for instance, a case where a certain Acisculus was called Pacisculus because of some "compact" which he had made, while one Placidus was nicknamed Acidus because of his "sour" temper, and one Tullius was dubbed Tollius because he was a thief. |
| 1871 |
Sed haec eadem genera commodius in rebus quam in nominibus respondent . Afer enim venuste Manlium Suram , multum in agendo discursantem , salientem , manus iactantem , togam deiicientem et reponentem , non agere , dixit , sed satagere . Est enim dictum per se urbanum satagere etiamsi nulla subsit alterius verbi similitudo .
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Such puns are more successful with things than names. It was, for example, a neat hit of Afer's when he said that Manlius Sura, who kept rushing to and fro while he was pleading, waving his hands, letting his toga fall and replacing it, was not merely pleading, but giving himself a lot of needless trouble. For there is a spice of wit about the word satagere in itself, even if there were no resemblance to any other word. |
| 1872 |
Fiunt et adiecta et detracta aspiratione et divisis coniunctisque verbis similiter saepius frigida , aliquando tamen recipienda . Eademque condicio est in iis , quae a nominibus trahuntur . Multa ex hoc Cicero in Verrem , sed ut ab aliis dicta , modo futurum , ut omnia verreret , cum diceretur Verres , modo Herculi , quem expilaverat , molestiorem apro Erymanthio fuisse , modo malum sacerdotem , qui tam nequam verrem reliquisset , quia Sacerdoti Verres successerat .
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Similar jests may be produced by the addition or removal of the aspirate, or by splitting up a word or joining it to another: the effect is generally poor, but the practice is occasionally permissible. Jests drawn from names are of the same type. Cicero introduces a number of such jests against Verres, but always as quotations from others. On one occasion he says that he would sweep everything away, for his name was Verres; on another, that he had given more trouble to Hercules, whose temple he had pillaged, than was given by the Erymanthine "boar" ; on another, that he was a bad "priest" who had left so worthless a pig behind him. For Verres' predecessor was named Sacerdos. |
| 1873 |
Praebet tamen aliquando occasionem quaedam felicitas hoc quoque bene utendi : ut pro Caecina Cicero in testem Sex . Clodium Phormionem , Nec minus niger , inquit , nec minus confidens quam est ille Terentianus Phormio .
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Sometimes, however, a lucky chance may give us an opportunity of employing such jests with effect, as for instance when Cicero in the pro Caecina says of the witness Sextus Clodius Phormio, "He was not less black or less bold than the Phormio of Terence." |
| 1874 |
Acriora igitur sunt et elegantiora , quae trahuntur ex vi rerum . In his maxime valet similitudo , si tamen ad aliquid inferius leviusque referatur ; quae iam veteres illi iocabantur , qui Lentulum Spintherem et Scipionem Serapionem esse dixerunt . Sed ea non ab hominibus modo petitur verum etiam ab animalibus , ut nobis pueris Iunius Bassus , homo in primis dicax , asinus albus vocabatur ;
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We may note therefore that jests which turn on the meaning of things are at once more pointed and more elegant. In such cases resemblances between things produce the best effects, more especially if we refer to something of an inferior or more trivial nature, as in the jests of which our forefathers were so fond, when they called Lentulus Spinther and Scipio Serapio. But such jests may be drawn not merely from the names of men, but from animals as well; for example when I was a boy, Junius Bassus, one of the wittiest of men, was nicknamed the white ass. |
| 1875 |
et Sarmentus Messium Cicirrum equo fero comparavit . Ducitur et ab inanimis sicut P . Blaesius Iulium , hominem nigrum et macrum et pandum , fibulam ferream dixit . Quod nunc risus petendi genus frequentissimum est .
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And Sarmentus compared Messius Cicirrus to a wild horse. The comparison may also be drawn from inanimate objects: for example Publius Blessius called a certain Julius, who was dark, lean and bent, the iron buckle. This method of raising a laugh is much in vogue to-day. |
| 1876 |
Adhibetur autem similitudo interim palam , interim inseri solet parabolae ; cuius est generis illud Augusti , qui militi libellum timide porrigenti , Noli , inquit , tanquam assem elephanto des .
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Such resemblances may be put to the service of wit either openly or allusively. Of the latter type is the remark of Augustus, made to a soldier who showed signs of timidity in presenting a petition, "Don't hold it out as if you were giving a penny to an elephant." |
| 1877 |
Sunt quaedam vi similia ; unde Vatinius dixit hoc dictum , cum reus , agente in eum Calvo , frontem candido sudario tergeret , idque ipsum accusator in invidiam vocaret , Quamvis reus sum , inquit , et panem item candidum edo .
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Some of these jests turn on similarity of meaning. Of this kind was the witticism uttered by Vatinius when he was prosecuted by Calvus. Vatinius was wiping his forehead with a white handkerchief, and his accuser called attention to the unseemliness of the act. Whereupon Vatinius replied, "Though I am on my trial, I go on eating white bread all the same." |
| 1878 |
Adhuc est subtilior illa ex simili translatio , cum , quod in alia re fieri solet , in aliam mutuamur . Ea dicatur sane fictio : ut Chrysippus , cum in triumpho Caesaris eborea oppida essent translata , et post dies paucos Fabii Maximi lignea , thecas esse oppidorum Caesaris dixit . Et Pedo de mirmillone , qui retiarium consequebatur nec feriebat , Vivum , inquit , capere vult .
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Still more ingenious is the application of one thing to another on the ground of some resemblance, that is to say the adaptation to one thing of a circumstance which usually applies to something else, a type of jest which we may regard as being an ingenious form of fiction. For example, when ivory models of captured towns were carried in Caesar's triumphal procession, and a few days later wooden models of the same kind were carried at the triumph of Fabius Maximus, Chrysippus remarked that the latter were the cases for Caesar's ivory towns. And Pedo said of a heavy-armed gladiator who was pursuing another armed with a net and failed to strike him, "He wants to catch him alive." |
| 1879 |
iungitur amphiboliae similitudo , ut a Galba , qui pilam negligenter petenti , Sic , inquit , petis , tamquam Caesaris candidatus . Nam illud petis ambiguum est , securitas similis Quod hactenus ostendisse satis est .
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Resemblance and ambiguity may be used in conjunction: Galba for example said to a man who stood very much at his ease when playing ball, "You stand as if you were one of Caesar's candidates." The ambiguity lies in the word stand, while the indifference shewn by the player supplies the resemblance. |
| 1880 |
Ceterum frequentissima aliorum generum cum aliis mixtura est , eaque optima , quae ex pluribus constat . Eadem dissimilium ratio est . Hinc eques Romanus , ad quem in spectaculis bibentem cum misisset Augustus , qui ei diceret , Ego si prandere volo , domum eo : Tu enim , inquit , non times , ne locum perdas .
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I need say no more on this form of humour. But the practice of combining different types of jest is very common, and those are best which are of this composite character. A like use may be made of dissimilarity. Thus a Roman knight was once drinking at tile games, and Augustus sent him the following message, "If I want to dine, I go home." To which the other replied, " Yes, |
| 1881 |
Ex contrario non una species . Neque enim eodem modo dixit Augustus praefecto , quem cum ignominia mittebat , subinde interponenti precibus , Quid respondebo patri meo ? Dic , me tibi displicuisse ; quo Galba penulam roganti : Non possum commodare , domi maneo , cum cenaculum eius perplueret . Tertium adhuc illud : ( nisi quod , ut ne auctorem ponam , verecundia ipsius facit ) Libidinosior es quam ullus spado ; quo sine dubio et opinio decipitur sed ex contrario . Et hoc ex eodem loco est sed nulli priorum simile , quod dixit M . Vestinus , cum ei nuntiatum esset ( ... lost text ... ) necatum esse , aliquando desinet putere .
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but you are not afraid of losing your seat " Contraries give rise to more than one kind of jest. For instance the following jests made by Augustus and Galba differ in form. Augustus was engaged in dismissing an officer with dishonour from his service: the officer kept interrupting him with entreaties and said, "What shall I say to my father?" Augustus replied, "Tell him that I fell under your displeasure." Galba, when a friend asked him for the loan of a cloak, said, "I cannot lend it you, as I am going to stay at home," the point being that the rain was pouring through the roof of his garret at the time. I will add a third example, although out of respect to its author I withhold his name: "You are more lustful than a eunuch," where we are surprised by the appearance of a word which is the very opposite of what we should have expected. Under the same heading, although it is quite different from any of the preceding, we must place the remark made by Marcus Vestinus when it was reported to him that a certain man was dead. "Some day then he will cease to stink," was his reply. |
| 1882 |
Onerabo librum exemplis similemque iis , qui risus gratia componuntur , efficiam , si persequi voluero singula veterum . Ex omnibus argumentorum locis eadem occasio est . Nam et finitione usus est Augustus de pantomimis duobus , qui alternis gestibus contendebant , cum eorum alterum saltatorem dixit alterum interpellatorem ;
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But I shall overload this book with illustrations and turn it into a common jest-book, if I continue to quote each jest that was made by our forefathers. All forms of argument afford equal opportunity for jests. Augustus for example employed definition when he said of two ballet-dancers who were engaged in a contest, turn and turn about, as to who could make tile most exquisite gestures, that one was a dancer and the other merely interrupted the dancing. |
| 1883 |
et partitione Galba , cum paenulam roganti respondit , Non pluit , non opus est tibi ; si pluit , ipse utar . Proinde genere , specie , propriis , differentibus , iugatis , adiunctis , consequentibus , antecedentibus , repugnantibus , causis , effectis , comparatione parium , maiorum , minorum similis materia praebetur ; sicut in tropos quoque omnes cadit .
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Galba on the other hand made use of partition when he replied to a friend who asked him for a cloak, "It is not raining and you don't need it; if it does rain, I shall wear it myself." Similar material for jests is supplied by genus, species, property, difference, conjugates, adjuncts, antecedents, consequents, contraries, causes, effects, and comparisons of things greater, equal, or less, as it is also by all forms of trope. |
| 1884 |
An non plurima per hyperbolen dicuntur ? quale refert Cicero de homine praelongo , caput eum ad fornicem Fabium offendisse ; et quod P . Oppius dixit de genere Lentulorum , cum assidue minores parentibus liberi essent , nascendo interiturum .
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Are not a large number of jests made by means of hyperbole? Take for instance Cicero's remark about a man who was remarkable for his height, "He bumped his head against the Fabian arch," or the remark made by Publius Oppius about the family of the Lentuli to the effect, that since the children were always smaller than their parents, the race would "perish by propagation." Again, what of irony? |
| 1885 |
Quid ironia ? nonne etiam quae severissime fit , ioci prope genus est ? Qua urbane usus est Afer , cum Didio Gallo , qui provinciam ambitiosissime petierat , deinde , impetrata ea , tanquam coactus querebatur , Age , inquit , aliquid et rei publicae causa .Metaphora quoque Cicero lusit , cum , Vatinii morte nuntiata , cuius parum certus dicebatur auctor , Interim , inquit , usura fruar .
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Is not even the most severe form of irony a kind of jest? Afer made a witty use of it when he replied to Didius Callus, who, after making the utmost efforts to secure a provincial government, complained on receiving the appointment that he had been forced into accepting, "Well, then, do something for your country's sake." Cicero also employed metaphor to serve his jest, when on receiving a report of uncertain authorship to the effect that Vatinius was dead, he remarked, " Well, for the meantime I shall make use of the interest. " |
| 1886 |
Idem per allegorian M . Caelium , melius obiicientem crimina quam defendentem , bonam dextram , malam sinistram habere dicebat . Emphasi A . Villius dixit , ferrum in Tuccium incidisse .
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He also employed allegory in the witticism that he was fond of making about Marcus Caelius, who was better at bringing charges than at defending his client against them, to the effect that he had a good right hand, but a weak left. As an example of the use of emphasis I may quote the jest of Aulus Villius, that Tuccius was killed by his sword falling upon him. |
| 1887 |
Figuras quoque mentis , quae σχήματα διανοίας dicuntur , res eadem recipit omnes , in quas nonnulli diviserunt species dictorum . Nam et interrogamus et dubitamus et adfirmamus et minamur et optamus , quaedam ut miserantes , quaedam ut irascentes dicimus . Ridiculum est autem omne , quod aperte fingitur .
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Figures of thought, which the Greeks call σχήματα διανοίας, may be similarly employed, and some writers have classified jests under their various headings. For we ask questions, express doubts, make assertions, threaten, wish and speak in pity or in anger. And everything is laughable that is obviously a pretence. |
| 1888 |
Stulta reprehendere facillimum est , nam per se sunt ridicula ; sed rem urbanam facit aliqua ex nobis adiectio . Stulte interrogaverat exeuntem de theatro Campatium Titius Maximus , an spectasset ? fecit Campatius dubitationem eius stultiorem dicendo , Non , sed in orchestra pila lusi .
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It is easy to make fun of folly, for folly is laughable in itself; but we may improve such jests by adding something of our own. Titius Maximus put a foolish question to Campatius, who was leaving the theatre, when he asked him if he had been watching the play. "No," replied Campatius, "I was playing ball in the stalls," whereby lie made the question seem even more foolish than it actually was. |
| 1889 |
Refutatio cum sit in negando , redarguendo , defendendo , elevando , ridicule negavit Manius Curius ; nam , cum eius accusator in sipario omnibus locis aut nudum eum in nervo aut ab amicis redemptum ex alea pinxisset :
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Refutation consists in denying, rebutting, defending or making light of a charge, and each of these affords scope for humour. Manius Curius, for example, showed humour in the way in which he denied a charge that had been brought against him. His accuser had produced a canvas, in every scene of which he was depicted either as naked and in prison or as being restored to freedom by his friends paying off his gambling debts. His only comment was, "Did I never win, then?" |
| 1890 |
Ergo ego , inquit , nunquam vici ? Redarguimus interim aperte , ut Cicero Vibium Curium multum de annis aetatis suae mentientem , Tum ergo , cum una declamabamus , non eras natus ; interim et simulata assensione , ut idem Fabia Dolabellae dicente triginta se annos habere , Verum est , inquit ; nam hoc illam iam viginti annis audio .
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Sometimes we rebut a charge openly, as Cicero did when he refuted the extravagant lies of Vibius Curius about his age: "Well, then," he remarked, " in the days when you and I used to practise declamation together, you were not even born. " At other times we may rebut it by pretending to agree. Cicero, for example, when Fabia the wife of Dolabella asserted that her age was thirty, remarked, "That is true, for I have heard it for the last twenty years." |
| 1891 |
Belle interim subiicitur pro eo , quod neges , aliud mordacius : ut Iunius Bassus , querente Domitia Passieni , quod incusans eius sordes calceos eam veteres diceret vendere solere , Non mehercules , inquit , hoc unquam dixi ; sed dixi emere te solere .Defensionem imitatus est eques Romanus , qui obiicienti Augusto , quod patrimonium comedisset , Meum , inquit , putavi .
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Sometimes too it is effective to add something more biting in place of the charge which is denied, as was done by Junius Bassus when Domitia the wife of Passienus complained that by way of accusing her of meanness he had alleged that she even sold old shoes. "No," he replied, "I never said anything of the sort. I said you bought them." A witty travesty of defence was once produced by a Roman knight who was charged by Augustus with having squandered his patrimony. "I thought it was my own," he answered. |
| 1892 |
Elevandi ratio est duplex , ut aut nimiam quis iactantiam minuat : quemadmodum C . Caesar Pomponio ostendenti vulnus ore exceptum in seditione Sulpiciana , quod is se passum pro Caesare pugnantem gloriabatur , Nunquam fugiens respexeris , inquit ; aut crimen obiectum , ut Cicero obiurgantibus , quod sexagenarius Publiliam virginem duxisset , Cras mulier erit , inquit .
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As regards making light of a charge, there are two ways in which this may be done. We may throw cold water on the excessive boasted of our opponent, as was done by Gaius Caesar, when Pomponius displayed a wound in his face which he had received in the rebellion of Sulpicius and which he boasted he had received while fighting for Caesar: "You should never look round," he retorted, "when you are running away." Or we may do the same with some charge that is brought against us, as was done by Cicero when he remarked to those who reproached him for marrying Publilia, a young unwedded girl, when he was already over sixty, "Well, she will be a woman to-morrow." |
| 1893 |
Hoc genus dicti consequens vocant quidam , atque illi simile , quod Cicero Curionem , semper ab excusatione aetatis incipientem , facilius cotidie prooemium habere dixit , quia ista natura sequi et cohaerere videantur .
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Some style this type of jest consequent and, on the ground that both jests seem to follow so naturally and inevitably, class it with the jest which Cicero levelled against Curio, who always began his speeches by asking indulgence for his youth: "You will find your exordium easier every day," he said. |
| 1894 |
Sed elevandi genus est etiam causarum relatio , qua Cicero est usus in Vatinium . Qui pedibus aeger , cum vellet videri commodioris valetudinis factus et diceret , se iam bina milia passuum ambulare , Dies enim , inquit , longiores sunt .Et Augustus nuntiantibus Tarraconensibus palmam in ara eius enatam , Apparet , inquit , quam saepe accendatis .
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Another method of making light of a statement is to suggest a reason. Cicero employed this method against Vatinius. The latter was lame and, wishing to make it seem that his health was improved, said that he could now walk as much as two miles. "Yes," said Cicero, "for the days are longer." Again Augustus, when the inhabitants of Tarraco reported that a palm had sprung up on the altar dedicated to him, replied, "That shows how often you kindle fire upon it." |
| 1895 |
Transtulit crimen Cassius Severus . Nam cum obiurgaretur a praetore , quod advocati eius L . Varo Epicureo , Caesaris amico , convicium fecissent , Nescio , inquit . qui conviciati sint , et puto Stoicos fuisse .Repercutiendi multa sunt genera , venustissimum , quod etiam similitudine aliqua verbi adiuvatur : ut Trachalus dicenti Suelio , " Si hoc ita est , is in exilium , " Sic non est ita , redis , " inquit .
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Cassius Severus showed his wit by transferring a charge made against himself to a different quarter. For when lie was reproached by the praetor on the ground that his advocates had insulted Lucius Varus, an Epicurean and a friend of Caesar, he replied, "I do not know who they were who insulted him, I suppose they were Stoics." Of retorts there are a number of forms, the wittiest being that which is helped out by a certain verbal similarity, as in the retort made by Trachalus to Suelius. The latter had said, "If that is the case, you go into exile" : to which Trachalus replied, "And if it is not the case, you go back into exile." |
| 1896 |
Elusit Cassius Severus obiiciente quodam , quod ei domo sua Proculeius interdixisset , respondendo , Numquid ergo illuc accedo ? Sic eluditur et ridiculum ridiculo : ut divus Augustus , cum ei Galli torquem aureum centum pondo dedissent , et Dolabella per iocum , temptans tamen ioci sui eventum , dixisset , " Imperator , torque me dona , " Malo , inquit , te civica donare : "
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Cassius Severus baffled an opponent who reproached him with the fact that Proculeius had forbidden him to enter his house by replying, "Do I ever go there?" But one jest may also be defeated by another: for example, Augustus of blessed memory, when the Gauls gave him a golden necklet weighing a hundred pounds, and Dolabella, speaking in jest but with an eye to the success of his jest, said, "General, give me your necklet," replied, "I had rather give you the crown of oak leaves." |
| 1897 |
mendacium quoque mendacio , ut Galba , dicente quodam , victoriato se uno in Sicilia quinque pedes longam murenam emisse : Nihil , inquit , mirum ; nam ibi tam longae nascuntur , ut iis piscatores pro restibus cingantur .
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So, too, one lie may be defeated by another: Galba, for instance, when someone told him that he once bought a lamprey five feet long for half a denarius in Sicily, replied, " There is nothing extraordinary in that: for they grow to such a length in those seas that the fishermen tie them round their waists in lieu of ropes! " Then there is the opposite of denial, |
| 1898 |
Contraria est neganti confessionis simulatio , sed ipsa quoque multum habet urbanitatis . Sic Afer , cum ageret contra libertum Claudii Caesaris , et ex diverso quidam condicionis eiusdem , cuius erat litigator , exclamasset , " Praeterea tu semper in libertos Caesaris dicis , " Nec mehercule , inquit , quicquam proficio . " Cui vicinum est non negare quod obiicitur , cum et id palam falsum est et inde materia bene respondendi datur : ut Catulus dicenti Philippo , " Quid latras ? " Furem video , " inquit .
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namely a feigned confession, which likewise may show no small wit. Thus Afer, when pleading against a freedman of Claudius Caesar and when another freedman called out from the opposite side of the court, "You are always speaking against Caesar's freedmen," replied, "Yes, but I make precious little headway." A similar trick is not to deny a charge, though it is obviously false and affords good opportunity for an excellent reply. For example, when Philippus said to Catulus, "Why do you bark so?" the latter replied, "I see a thief." |
| 1899 |
In se dicere non fere est nisi scurrarum et in oratore utique minime probabile , quod fieri totidem modis quot in alios potest . Ideoque hoc , quamvis frequens sit , transeo .
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To make jokes against oneself is scarcely fit for any save professed buffoons and is strongly to be disapproved in an orator. This form of jest has precisely the same varieties as those which we make against others and therefore I pass it by, although it is not infrequently employed. |
| 1900 |
Illud vero , etiamsi ridiculum est , indignum tamen est homine liberali , quod aut turpiter aut potenter dicitur ; quod fecisse quendam scio , qui humiliori libere adversus se loquenti , Colaphum , inquit , tibi ducam et formulam scribam , quod caput durum habeas .Hic enim dubium est , utrum ridere audientes an indignari debuerint .
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On the other hand scurrilous or brutal jests, although they may raise a laugh, are quite unworthy of a gentleman. I remember a jest of this kind being made by a certain man against an inferior who had spoken with some freedom against him: "I will smack your head, and bring an action against you for having such a hard skull!" In such cases it is difficult to say whether the audience should laugh or be angry. |